Journal #33: Frustration and Fire

by Miles Raymer

Frustration is an emotion that depends on our indulgence for its perpetuation. One wrong step, unfortunate turn, or misunderstanding causes a flash of heat: the sudden awareness of fault and fallibility. For those who struggle to achieve the placid grace of deep breaths and quick chuckles, small frustrations build rapidly and compound with force. On Monday I was reminded that although I aspire to be better, I still very much fit into this category of person.

The job was relatively simple: cut three small bats to finish out the siding below one of the roof overhangs. It involved cutting particular angles based on roof slope, which isn’t hard if you know the number of degrees for the cut––numbers Sean supplied me with. Still, it took me at least three tries to get each of the bats right.

Bat cut at two different angles so as to be flush with the bottom of the siding as well as the roof overhang

Bat cut at two different angles to be flush with the siding as well as the roof overhang

Worse, I actually nailed in several of the pieces thinking they were good enough, only to descend my ladder and discover that, when looked at from just the right spot, neither the angles nor the lengths were correct. I did this twice with two separate bats, all four of which I had to then tear out and replace.

To be clear––these were not complicated measurements, and I had all the tools and knowledge to do them correctly. But the more I failed to meet my expectations, the more I rushed. The more I allowed frustration to get the better of me, the less capable I became.

This experience reinforced for me one of Dan and Sean’s most important rules about building: If you finish something the wrong way, it will torture you and you won’t be able to get it off your mind.  So take the extra time, rip something out if you have to, and do it properly. After nailing the ill-fitting bats up for the second time, I was sorely tempted to leave them there; the chances of anyone ever noticing were extremely slim. But every time I walked under that gable, my eye shot up and then back down like a schoolboy caught in the act of ogling his crush. I was embarrassed, and eventually just couldn’t take it anymore.

The best way to get out of this kind of funk is to turn to someone for help, but Sean was off getting materials and I became stubborn about working this out solo. Fortunately for me, Matt, who was busy doing caulking touch-up, noticed my grumpiness and offered a tip about how to better figure my angle: using my speed square rather than the angle finder on the chop saw. Since I was confused about how the angles were laid out on the chop saw, this gave me a new way to approach the problem. Matt’s advice was just what I needed; my last attempt was successful, and my frustration quickly dissipated.

Chalk it up to a slow Monday start.

Third time around

Not perfect, but good enough

With the bats up and Sean back on site, we got to work finishing our deck repair and building a 3′ landing for the back door. We had to delay painting because it was going to rain on Tuesday and then again later in the week.

New fascia board for old deck

New fascia board for old deck

It took Sean a few tries to get this cut right, which made me feel less incompetent

It took Sean a few tries to get this cut right, which made me feel less incompetent after my battle with the bats

Old deck reborn

Old deck reborn

It feels good to have this deck rebuilt––just one more step toward getting things back to normal after months of chaos around the house.

That afternoon, Matt and Sean constructed the box for the new landing and nailed it to the siding.

Box building

Box building

Ready for redwood

Ready for redwood

We had a lucky break here, which was that the slope of the pavement was such that the landing could sit on it 3′ out from the wall and be perfectly level. This made it really easy to cut fascia boards and finish the landing on Tuesday morning.

Sean custom cut these boards to sit 3/4" up from the concrete

Sean custom cut these boards to sit 3/4″ up from the concrete

Fascia boards done

Fascia boards done

Before finishing out the landing, Sean wanted to secure it to the pavement. To do this, we squared the landing to the wall, cut two blocks and drilled holes through them into the concrete. We then inserted a neat kind of bolt called a redhead into the holes. Redheads are a nail/screw hybrid: they screw in like regular bolts, but also have tips that, when pounded with a hammer, expand into the concrete to anchor the bolt.

Redheads in place

Redheads in place

With the landing secure, I finished out the deckboards.

Landing complete

Landing complete

While I was busy with the landing, Sean and Matt put in the floor vents. These vents provide airflow that prevents moisture build-up under the floor. Putting them in is tricky because you have to be careful to avoid drilling through any plumbing or floor joists.  Sean was careful to measure his distances and factor in the widths of all the different floor and wall materials to calculate which bays we should drill into, and also at what height to drill without hitting the plywood or foundation.

Mat and Sean installed five of these to give the floor plenty of venting

Mat and Sean installed five of these to give the floor plenty of venting

On Tuesday we passed our framing inspection on the condition that we make a few adjustments. One of these was to lower the bedroom’s egress window a few inches. This was a considerable change given that the siding and trim were already on, so Sean and Matt spent Wednesday adjusting the window and completing additional minor tasks while I went to Tule Fog Farm. We are grateful to Sean for finding a workaround with the window––the inspector said we should just buy a new one, but we didn’t want to do that since we’re already over budget on the project overall.

Passing the framing inspection meant we could begin insulating, which took up all of Thursday.

Bedroom insulated

Bedroom insulated

Insulation is the last step before putting up sheetrock. Having it all done gave me a better sense of how the rooms will feel with ceilings and walls. On Friday we passed our insulation inspection, which gave us the go ahead to bring the sheetrockers in.

We also had our first burn day on Friday. We’ve had a few days of solid rain in the last five or six weeks, so the North Coast Air Quality folks have lifted the burning ban that was in place during the summer. I spent the day managing the fire and hauling scrap wood to its final resting place. I’d never managed a fire before, but enjoyed learning how.  Sean and Matt both have a lot of experience with burning, so they showed me the ropes. It’s crucial to build the fire roughly 10′ away from any flammable materials, have a hose nearby to douse the surrounding area, and also to keep the fire small enough so that it won’t get out of control if the wind changes.

Scrap fire

Scrap fire

Letting it burn down at the end of the day

Burning down at the end of the day

I was only able to make it through about a half of our huge debris pile on the first day, but got right back to it on Monday morning. While I was burning, Matt and Sean cut a new attic access panel into our existing upstairs bedroom.

Space cleared for panel

Space cleared for panel

Hole cut

Hole cut

Sheetrock trimmed and screwed back in place

New panel trimmed and screwed back in place

As rain came down and my fire began to burn itself out, I could feel frustrations dissipate. There is something calming about controlled fires. They are a reminder that some things in this world are crumbling to ash much more quickly than we are.

Monday's fire

Monday’s fire

Where once you stood so firm above my head,

It’s strange to see you burning with such verve,

I hope these ashes make for you a bed,

Admittedly, it’s less than you deserve,

So quickly do we humans spend our lot,

And rifle through the outgrowths of the soil,

Earth’s preciousness has often been forgot,

Our comfort made from nature’s tireless toil,

Yet when such conflagrations pass from mind,

A dwelling place arisen from the scatters,

Back to the ground this home my soul will bind,

A chance to set alight what really matters,

For as this world has sent to me a life,

I’ll ne’er forget its source nor shirk its strife.

23